The old 1980s-era success gurus used to teach us that we had to chase success in order to be happy. Some even said we should create massive pain in our lives to motivate us towards our big, huge wealth and material, ego-expanding goals. Only then, they told us, could we be happy.
There was just one catch: If you actually achieved your big, huge goal, it clearly wasn’t huge enough, so you had to set a bigger goal and mortgage your happiness against future success again.
When do you get happy doing that? Who are you really doing that for?
It’s like throwing a stick, chasing the stick and if you find the stick, throwing it again. Chasing sticks can be fun, I get that. That’s why we do it. But let’s stop doing it because we think we need to do it become happy.
Stop mortgaging your happiness on possible future success. Instead of chasing success in order to become happy, make time for your success projects because you are happy.
For as long as we keep putting happiness, love, wellness, peacefulness, worthiness or whatever it is we value “over there” and putting assault courses—our definitions of success—between us and it, we’re telling ourselves we can’t be happy, loved, well, worthy now.
The more blessed path is to not make our happiness, wellness or worthiness dependent on a goal. It’s to be those things first. It’s to be those things now.
It’s more joyous to work our success projects from a base of happiness, wellness and worthiness, not as a way of getting to those things.
If you are still chasing success to become happy, well, worthy, peaceful, etc., I invite you to turn it around. Besides, if you think succeeding is what’s going to make you happy, Impact Bias predicts you’re probably wrong. Impact bias is a psychological bias that predicts the good feelings we think we’ll get from achieving things we want will not be as strong and long-lasting as we think they will be.
Wishing you health and happiness,
Labels: Coaching Articles, Self-Help, Success, Happiness, Impact Bias
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Stephen Woolston Training and Consultancy is based in Maidstone, Kent.